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Skid
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PostSubject: Not been very active lately.   Thu 23 Nov 2017, 9:05 am

Many of you will have noticed that I've been MIA for a few weeks and the reason for that is that my wife died three weeks ago.

Justine was disabled for many years, which was getting progressively worse as time went by.

At the end of October 2016, she had a fall and banged her head and was admitted to hospital, where she stayed (in 4 different hospitals) for four months. During this time she got pnuemonia on her lungs and this made her delirious for about a month (sometimes severely) before they got it under control. This period was very distressing for us both.

She was eventually diagnosed with cancer of the liver and as her general health by this time was poor, an operation was ruled out as being less than a fifty percent survival rate. Chemo therapy was offered but Justine herself ruled this out as it's not a nice thing to suffer, so we self discharged her at the end of February this year and I became her full time carer.

Just over three weeks ago, she complained of stomach pains, chest pains and difficulty in breathing and she was admitted to hospital once again where two days later, following a scan they told us that the the tumour had grown massively and was pressing on her stomach causing the symptoms above. When asked, the doctor told me she had just weeks to live.

I couldn't go back in her room for a while until I had some sort of control over my emotions but when I told her the bad news, she simply took it on the chin like I knew she would. No crying, no anger, just stoical acceptance. The pain was rising again and she was given more intravenous morphine. The pain subsided and she fell asleep. Two hours later I left for home expecting her to be fast tracked discharged the following day.

At 11.45pm I had a call from the hospital, telling me she'd taken a turn for the worse and that I should get there straight away but by the time I'd arrived at the hospital, she'd already passed away.

Now after 42 very happy years of marriage, I am left with a huge chasm in my life and a sense of utter loneliness. I truly hope that this never happens to any of you guys.

Friends tell me it will get easier and they mean well but it doesn't really help.

Somehow, I need to be able to pick up the tatters of my life and start again  but for now it's very hard indeed.

So as you might guess, modelling has been the last hing on my mind and I don't know when I will feel able to sit at the bench again.

Take care of you and yours everyone, they are very precious to you.

_________________
Al.

Success always demands a greater effort.” Winston Churchill

"Success is failure turned inside out"  Unknown


Last edited by Skid on Thu 23 Nov 2017, 10:36 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Geezerman
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 23 Nov 2017, 10:32 am

Sorry to hear that, Skid. Words are practically meaningless in situations like this, But best wishes for you.
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Mr Hirakawa
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 23 Nov 2017, 10:51 am

Oh my word, I am very sorry to hear this.
Mine and Amanda's condolences to you.
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disabled modeler
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 23 Nov 2017, 12:37 pm

AL...I am so sorry to hear this. I cant even imagine what your going through but remember you have a great support group here with your friends. If you feel the need or just want to chat PM me anytime my friend...I always have time for a friend and brother in plastic. God bless and watch over you in your times of need.
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 23 Nov 2017, 1:13 pm

My deepest sympathies on your loss, Al. Remember you have friends here - if only just to talk.
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OldTrucker
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 23 Nov 2017, 3:47 pm

Our most sincere condolences Al.
I watched my father-in-law go through this after his wife of 52 years slowly left us with dementia and the eventual organ failure.
I know I would be totally lost after 46 years with my Jeannie. She has copd (asthma and emphysema) and right side heart failure. and almost lost her in 2011 after her last heart surgery.
It is a tough hand you have been dealt but you have to take heart and remember how tough a woman she evidently was and remember she would not want you to give up because of the loss.
She was being strong for you which is something I have seen many times over the years where a good woman will stay strong to the end as she always has been. She was seeing to it that her loved ones continue to stay strong!
God bless her.
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 23 Nov 2017, 5:12 pm

I'm so sorry to hear th at Al. As you go through the pain, remember your wife is no longer in pain.
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 23 Nov 2017, 5:57 pm

Al, I am left at a loss for words with this. My feelings are heart felt for you at the time of your greatest loss.
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 23 Nov 2017, 6:37 pm

I am so sorry, I just don't know what to say, my heart goes out to you .
I sure it will take a long time, I know it's not the same but my missus lost her mum 2 yrs ago and although she is ok 90% of the time I still catch her crying on ocassional days even now. I know the pain will never leave but it will get more manageable with time.
Dare I say at least she is at rest now and no longer in pain .
Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. I hope you get all the help you need.
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Sat 25 Nov 2017, 10:05 pm

Thank you all for your condolences and concern. It really is appreciated.

I keep looking at the almost finished tank on my bench but simply don't have the enthusiasm to finish it.

Maybe one day.

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Al.

Success always demands a greater effort.” Winston Churchill

"Success is failure turned inside out"  Unknown
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Sun 26 Nov 2017, 5:58 pm

Al, so sorry about this, you have my deepest condolences and support.
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Sun 26 Nov 2017, 9:39 pm

Al, deepest sympathy from me and my family. I will help in any way I can.

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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Sun 26 Nov 2017, 10:18 pm

Thanks guys.

Roger.. it will happen sometime, just not right now.

Gary, I will Skype you tomorrow if that is OK? Don't worry if you aren't available as I'll keep trying.

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Al.

Success always demands a greater effort.” Winston Churchill

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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Sun 26 Nov 2017, 11:13 pm

Al, I fumble mightily to find just these few words. I am very, very sorry for your loss.....
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Dave from Pleasanton
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Wed 29 Nov 2017, 10:11 pm

So sorry Al.

Sent from Topic'it App
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Wed 29 Nov 2017, 11:10 pm

My condolences to you Al. Even though ive never met any of the folks on this forum i feel a sense of brotherhood to all you guys . so sorry to hear of your loss.
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Wed 06 Dec 2017, 10:47 pm

Thank you guys. Much appreciated.

Still can't face sitting at the bench yet though!

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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 07 Dec 2017, 12:40 pm

You will get back to the bench when you're ready Al.

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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 07 Dec 2017, 4:20 pm

It is hard, no doubt. Each person faces it with his or her own ways. You had a good marriage, went thru many challenges together. Take your time in healing. You live in a beautiful part of the world with many good folks around. I wish u well.
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Thu 07 Dec 2017, 5:57 pm

It takes time, after all those years sharing everything including her being the first to see your model work leaves a really big hole in ones life and I don't think there is ever anything that can fill it.
I know it would be that way for me.
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Sat 09 Dec 2017, 2:56 pm

Thank you for your kind words guys.

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Success always demands a greater effort.” Winston Churchill

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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Sun 10 Dec 2017, 3:42 am

Oh Al, I'm so sorry to hear this. Our condolences to you and your family.
My apologies for the lateness of this.

Regards,
Anne & Chris
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Sun 10 Dec 2017, 2:53 pm

Al, I am so sorry to hear of your loss of the Love of your life. Our virtual friendship stretches back to 2009 when I rejoined the hobby and found the old BMC site to your gracious invitation to join your web home here. I mourn with you and I pray for your comfort and understanding. You have always reached out to clasp an out stretched hand of your friends here and please don’t hesitate to call upon us if you need anything.
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PostSubject: Re: Not been very active lately.   Sun 10 Dec 2017, 6:01 pm

As many of you know Skid and I have over the years become quite close.  I have watched him closely as he made the journey with Justine.  I have been amazed at the strength he has shown throughout this entire tragedy.  Have no doubt, when he is ready he will be back and will be stronger than ever.

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